Bonnie Kiser, MS, LMFT
From What Does She Want from Me, Anyway? by Holly Phillips
She wants you to...
  • Understand what frustrates her
  • Help share her load
  • Recognize and ease her fears
  • Respond to her pain
  • Examine your relationship for causes of frustration, fear, and pain
  • Affirm what she does, but more importantly affirm who she is
  • Receive and validate her emotions; allow for her feelings, needs, desires, and dreams
  • Include her in your life and world
  • Think in terms of 'we'
  • Lead by serving
  • Show her you love her by what you do – what looks to her like loving her
  • Do something she wants instead of what you want
  • Use ink in your schedule for her; pencil in all else
  • Consider whether the hours you spend at work necessary and reasonable
  • Let her know your needs, struggles, fears, doubts, concerns; she wants to be a part.
  • Understand the difference in how you communicate
  • Listen
  • Put her needs first in your sexual relationship
  • Dedicate yourself to sexual purity – only for her
  • Be willing to work at your sexual relationship to be the best it can
  • Let sex be only one way you express your love to her
  • Never stop being a learner
  • Be open in admitting your mistakes
  • Don't try to go it alone; let others help you
  • Grow beyond your boundaries of opinion and prejudice
  • Be patient
  • Never lose heart; let God change you from the inside.
She wants you to communicate by...
Listening.....Being her booster club...sharing each other's worlds...recognizing her
A man needs:
  • To be given respect
  • To be honored in his own home
  • To be desired sexually and emotionally
  • To be needed and wanted
  • To be considered the most important person in his wife's universe
  • To be cheered on in his interests
  • To be understood as 'not perfect' but as a human being who bruises, fears, tears
  • To be allowed mistakes
  • A wife – not a mother
  • A partner proud to bear his children
  • A woman strong and confident enough in herself to allow him to lead
A woman needs:
  • To be listened to
  • To be considered
  • To feel secure
  • To be valued for who she is, not just what she does for everyone
  • To be respected and taken seriously
  • To be appreciated, not taken for granted
  • A husband willing to assume spiritual leadership of the family
  • A partner in parenting, not just baby-making
  • A husband who will care about the things that matter to her
  • A husband who will provide her the opportunity to pursue desires, hopes, dreams
  • A husband who loves her more than his work
  • A husband who finds his fulfillment in her, their marriage, and their family
from From What Does She Want from Me, Anyway? by Holly Phillips

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.

Michael J. Fox
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Copyright ©2007 Bonnie Kiser, MS, LFMT.  All rights reserved.