Bonnie Kiser, MS, LMFT
 
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From The Power of a Parent's Words by H. Norman Wright
 
 
Accentuating the Positive
  • You treat your friends nicely.
  • You have a wonderful ability with tools.
  • Thanks for doing such a good job on your chores today.
  • Your schoolwork has really improved.
  • I liked the way you cleaned your room.  Thank you.
  • You're a very special person to me.
  • I'm so glad you're my child.
  • I love you because you deserve to be loved.  You don't have to earn it.
  • You make my life more complete just by being you.
  • I'm glad I have you.  You teach me so much about life.
 
Dealing with the Negative
  • Here is a way you can do it that you might like better.
  • It sounds like it's hard for you to accept a compliment.  Perhaps you need more practice giving them.
  • I'm not sure you heard what I said.  Tell me what you heard, and then let me repeat what I said if you heard differently.
  • Listen to the help and care I'm giving you right now.
  • You can't do that any longer; but you can do this instead.
  • That was a poor choice you made; but I have some good ideas you may want to consider for getting back on track.
  • You're not paying attention.  Something must be on your mind, since you are so good at listening and thinking.  I wonder what it is.
 
 
from The Power of a Parent's Words by H. Norman Wright (Regal Press, 1991)
 
 
 

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.

Michael J. Fox
AAMFT CLINICAL MEMBER
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