Bonnie Kiser, MS, LMFT
Communication Slashers
Orders: 'Don't do that again!'

Threats: 'If you do that again, I'm going to punish you.'

Preaching: 'You ought to know better than that.'

Logical persuasion: 'I read an article that said doing that will cause you a lot of harm. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?'

Advice: 'Next time you feel like that, just go and ............'

Criticism: 'You were really stupid to do that.'

Praise: 'I still think you're a nice person anyway.'

Reassurance: 'That's too bad, but don't worry, it's just one little mistake.'

Diagnosing: 'The real problem is your parents don't spend enough time with you.'

Cross-examining: 'You know the rules. Why did you do it?'

Changing the subject: 'This happened to another kid here at school and he was really...'

Sarcasm: 'Of course, you thought your would never get caught.'

Sometimes children and adolescents need to express how they feel without you having the answer or saying something just to get them out of the emotion.

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence I can reach for; perfection is God's business.

Michael J. Fox
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Copyright ©2007 Bonnie Kiser, MS, LFMT.  All rights reserved.